My Preschooler Cries About Everything!

Today's advice-for-parents.com question comes from Lisa, who asked, "What should I do with my preschooler who cries about everything?"

Some preschoolers are a bit more tender than others. They have a harder time with transitions, take social interactions very personally, and seem to need a lot more attention. They are easily overwhelmed by changes in routine, and once they are overwhelmed, they have a very hard time calming themselves down. Often they will continue spiraling emotionally out of control until they receive the help of a calm and caring adult.

This is where it gets tricky! We adults often find ourselves becoming impatient and exasperated when the crying and whining goes on and on. The more upset our child is, the more strain we feel on our own nervous systems. The more we want them to stop crying, the harder it is to provide the calm and caring presence that could help bring it to an end.

So here's what to do. When your child is crying, and you feel the tension building in yourself, take a deep, slow breath. Calm yourself down first.

Then, get down to your child's level, look at her, and ask her if she wants you to hold her. If she nods, go ahead and bring her into your lap and comfort her.

If she doesn't want to be held, just sit yourself nearby and be with her. While you are holding her or not, speak some guesses as to what might be going on for her. "Oh, you weren't quite ready to leave yet." "You wanted more." "You wanted that toy." This is not an endorsement, it's simply an acknowledgement of her feelings. Kids start to calm down very quickly after they feel understood.

You might be thinking, "Yeah, right, that's sounds nice and everything, but I have things to do!!" Which of course is true, but let's think about that for a second. Which takes longer and costs more of our energy - trying to move on ahead with our schedules while dragging around a crying child, or investing a moment now to have a cooperative and willing helper for the rest of the errand?

Until she has calmed down, her emotional state will prohibit any kind of reasonable conversation. A crying child needs to be comforted before any learning will take place. Current brain research tells us that learning is simply not occurring while a child is in a state of emotional distress. Period.

So job one is to comfort the child. When she feels understood, you'll see her start to relax a bit, and the storm will start to subside. Sometimes, just this release of energy will be enough to allow you to continue with your activity - stimulation just builds up in the nervous system and needs to vent through crying in order to return to manageable levels.

Other times, after your child calms down, you can talk a little bit about what might have triggered the blow up, and troubleshoot ways to avoid it. For example, you may decide your child needs more warning before a transition, or that it works better to run errands after naptime, or that an earlier lunch might head off a blood sugar crash.

In any case, you'll be able to think much more clearly about all this after the crying has stopped, so don't put pressure on yourself to figure it out on the spot. Simply take a deep breath, soothe your child by holding her (or sitting nearby) and see if you can understand where she's coming from. Later, when things are calm, you can make some changes to her routine if necessary.

copyright 2007 Karen Alonge

Your Child's First Day of Kindergarten

The first day at school for most kids is a terrifying experience. Being away from home alone for the very first time, and not having parents there to hold their hands, most kids will most likely start crying and refuse to go to school the following day.

While some children get over their phobia of going to school very quickly, there will always be a few who will take a lot longer to get used to the fact that they can't be at home with you everyday as they used to.

Some lucky parents just get crying kids who sulk, other unfortunate ones get cranky kids who yell and scream or even worse, absolutely refuse to go to school. So what do you do when your kid just makes things hard on you and tests your limits?

There are multiple ways of dealing with kids like this, and there is no correct way. Every child is individual and will require different mythologies. Only you will know your child best and what the appropriate course of action should be.

Either way, you need to let your little boy or girl know that not attending school is not an option. You need to stand your ground and be authoritative. Whatever you do, do not bribe your children into going to school, that is just asking for trouble down the road. Lines like "Mommy will buy you a toy car if you be good" will just back fire and you'll eventually need to buy a toy car every time you want your kid to do something.

If the child already has an older sibling who's already attending school, then it is more likely that he or she will be eager to go as well. If you meet with some resistance, utilize your cunning and get the older sibling to encourage the younger one, making it clear on how great fun kindergarten or primary school can really be.

In conclusion, you will need to learn how to as well as what motivates your child to become enthusiastic about school life. Avoid any lectures about how beneficial school can be when they grow up or how they need to behave well in school - kids just do not get excited about things like that. You need to keep selling them the idea of fun to win this tug of war.

Day Care Centers

Let your fingers do the walking in the directories where you will find under the child care, preschool and schools section a list of day care centers which take care of children when you are away at work. Call a center close to your home and inquire of payments, number of children per minder, facilities offered and any other information that may be available.

There being many government and non profit making day care centers it is important to inquire if the center is licensed by a recognized educational institution for the safety of the child. Two heads are better than one, then the need for a visit with your spouse, friend or relative to structures called narrowing of at least five centers performed.

Nurseries are growing rapidly worldwide, with the first center of the end of 1800, while in the U.S., the New York nursery, which was founded by a private charity in 1854. It 'alsoimportant to note that these centers do not only play but also centers provide a credible training to better development and growth of children who are preparing to visit the preschool and kindergarten.

Before the entry of a child for a day care facility, it is important to supervise the training of the personnel, how many children are assigned to an employee, as the smallest member of staff to children, the better. Try to see the sick-room equipment and were trainedstaff on first aid in case of a child falling ill. Always ask the child if they are comfortable and love the center as often as possible since at this tender age they do have a short memory on events.

4 Important Aspects Of Your Child's Development

"Research shows if your child regularly plays games with plots based on violence and aggression, he is at risk for increased aggressive behavior. In addition, some games promote gender bias and irresponsible sexual behavior."

Excessive video gaming is becoming rather normal in today's society. Have you ever heard this "Don't ever play computer/video games with your kids, they will beat you"? And that's true because why would not they if they spend so many hours in front of computer practicing the game skill to become such a "junkie".

Yes, every one of us is a gamer to a certain extent. However, when it comes to choosing between certain aspects of children's development and video-gaming, I think loving and caring parents would dare hesitate here.

So let's discuss four important aspects of kids' development every parent should emphasize.

Physical development
Many of us can relate to this story; Oh, I am tired after work and do not have any energy left to go out and kick some football or play some stretch games with my kid.

Let's put it this way. If you knew that this was your last day on earth would you spend this day with your kid playing some fun exercise games? You know the answer, don't you? The point here is not to make you think that this is your last day but to wire your brain on how important it is to commit yourself to your kids' physical development. The healthier your kid is growing now the happier you will be later, won't you? So, invest in your kid by taking immediate actions. Use your imagination, go out and play out loud with your kid today, tomorrow or latest this weekend and on, yet regularly.

Social development
Rather than sitting in front of computer and playing a shooting game, I suggest that your kid(s) get a privilege of interacting with other kids. If they spend quality time at schools or kindergartens interacting with others, then this should not be a big issue for your kid. But if you see that your kid(s) is a socially close person, then you need to stress this aspect at the expense of video gaming time. Otherwise, as the research shows, the consequences may be negative.

Intellectual development
This is when you need to initiate a variety of learning activities. It is important not to force your child to intellectual activities but to develop an interest. You can stimulate your child intellectual growth by paying attention to his/her interests, consulting with a specialist and/or obtaining interesting books within that area. You may also purchase an interesting e-learning course on the Internet. Be aware that the course:

Must be fun;Must teach or reinforce a certain skill (e.g. math, language etc.);Should be competitive (e.g. a score should be awarded); and,A winner should be nominated and some sort of award given.

Emotional development
Allowing your kid unlimited hours at the computer may also result in escalating procrastination habits. Very often kids get caught in procrastinating things by getting through to a next stage trying to complete one more round and one more and one more.

In this case, and not only, you need to be a mentor to your kids. Give them instructions. Show them the way. Provide incentives and rewards. Teach them what is right or otherwise according to your belief system. But remember to be objective and always take a responsibility for what you make your kid value most as that is the foundation they will be building their future upon.

Helping Your Pre-K Child Master the Five Developmental Through Educational Toys

By the time a child enters kindergarten, he or she is expected to have a certain level of mastery over the five developmental skills: gross motor, fine motor, language, cognitive, and social.

The most effective way for children to build these skills is through interactive play with a caring adult along with educational toys designed to stimulate development. Here you'll find a break out of the five major developmental skills along with simple and fun toys that you can play with your child to encourage skill building.

Gross Motor skills require functionality of the major muscle groups that help a child balance, change positions, walk, run, jump, etc. Parent's today often feel uneasy about allowing their children to run freely outside as was common in the past. Because children are spending more time inside, it's important to remain conscious of the amount of time your child spends developing his or her gross motor skills.

Oversized cardboard play blocks and bricks allow children to use their large muscles and creativity as they stack the large blocks to build castles and fortresses. Any type of activity or game that puts the child inside of the action usually promotes gross motor skill development. Parents and children can both enjoy low impact sports games like croquet that encourage coordination, thought, and movement while promoting good sportsmanship.

Fine motor skills are those that give us the ability to use our hands nimbly to eat, draw, use scissors, tie shoes, and most other activities throughout the day. In order to pass kindergarten children are tested and required to exhibit a certain level of mastery in fine motor abilities. Activities may include cutting, writing their names, etc.

Allowing a child to use an easel with paints and crayons is not only fun, but very helpful in developing fine motor skills. The vertical angle of an easel helps to further refine these skills even more so than drawing on a flat surface. Blocks of all kinds are also ideal for developing fine motor skills. In addition to the very useful basic block set, Bristle Blocks help children to build creations like rockets and airplanes that can be picked up and interacted with. Sets like the Big Top Flippity Flops encourage children to build imaginative scenes while setting up blocks to topple in sequence like dominoes.

Language skills not only include speaking, but also the use of non verbal body language, gestures, and interpersonal communication. Another important aspect of language skills is a child's ability to read the body language and facial expressions of others to anticipate feelings and intentions.

Working with your child to create puppets and stories for a creative show in a colorful wooden puppet theater is an outstanding way for children to gain a full range of language skills. Because of the creativity that it ignites, a puppet theater is one of the most versatile educational toys, encouraging development in all skill areas. Children can live out their imaginative fantasies through their puppets, while creating interactive dialog and manipulating puppets to express a range of emotions through body language.

Cognitive/thinking skills can be developed through educational toys that promote problem solving, reasoning, remembering, learning, and understanding. Cognitive and thinking skills are arguably one of the most critical in terms of a child's ability to succeed in school and obtain a high level job in the future. Educational toys that encourage children to pick out patterns and anticipate the unseen are enhance cognitive development.

Pattern Blocks allow children to build pictorial scenes or complex, kaleidoscope-type patters with basic colored shapes. Familiarity with manipulating shapes is the basis of mathematical thinking and help children to understand how things fit together as part of a whole.

Social skills include interpersonal skills, building and maintaining relationships, empathy, and responding to the feelings of others. Many argue that highly developed social skills are the most important in terms of overall success and happiness in life.

Educational toys that give children the opportunity to anticipate the reactions of others and work together to reach an end goal, are excellent social skill developers. Working with children to stock a brightly colored wooden lemonade stand helps them to anticipate the wants and needs of others, engage in meaningful conversation, and directly connect their actions with the reactions of others, all while feeling a great deal of pride and independence.

The most effective educational toys often aren't those with moving parts, lights and sounds. They usually aren't featured on commercials during Saturday morning cartoons. Educational toys that build the five essential developmental skills are those that allow the child's mind to be the moving part, and are often most cherished and remembered through adulthood.